Man and Work.
Good morning Philippines! Good morning world! :)
Often times, I hate myself for being myself. I have a lot of weak spots. I know my weaknesses but I still let it take over me- like anger, pain, sensitiveness. I easily get distracted. I easily change moods - one day I am very happy, the next day, I’d be crying alone in my room thinking about the greatest what if’s and why’s of my life. I am very vulnerable to words and actions. I am an over-thinker. I like comparing myself to others - but
will always end up being a loser. Not so many people appreciate me or my works - not that I know. I find logging in to facebook and instagram as depressing, I mean, seriously. I’d browse the feeds and when a post pisses me off, I’d end up getting pissed all night. Is this normal? I kinda don’t like the idea.
Dear Mr. Aquino,
You may not remember me but we’ve met before. I can actually name at least 3 times that we’ve met. The first time was when your mum was in the hospital, God rest her soul. You were obviously occupied then. The next time we met, you were running for president then. It was 2010 and I was graduating from my pediatric residency. I remember part of your speech then where you encouraged us to stay in the Philippines, be good doctors here, serve the people. You asked us to prevent any more brain drain than what the Philippines was already experiencing. Help build the country, you said.
Well, you’re the president now, it’s been 4 years since that day and I’ve held up my end of the deal. I’ve voted, I’ve been vocal about my opinions and my wishes for the country. I’ve stayed, when I could have left, I’ve treated the patients, I’ve done my best. I’ve put the welfare of others before my own and my family’s and I have given blood, sweat, and tears in the service of my fellowmen. I have done my civic duty and I have been involved. Most of all, I have helped bankroll the many activities this country has been doing because I have paid my taxes properly, in full and on time. A quick perusal of my tax history should tell you this. And in return for all that, I am still characterized as a cheat and a tax evader, a burden to the people.
Never mind that I hardly make enough to pay off all my expenses. I’m a young pediatrician, considered lucky by many standards, and I’m not one to waste money. Yet I still am just barely able to make ends meet. When I pay my taxes, I’m not sure if I’ll have enough left over for rent. Or for gas. Or to pay off my vaccines. Or will I be able to save money at all. In my line of work, we don’t get retirement benefits. We either save up and build a nest egg or work until we drop dead. But I still pay my taxes. Never mind if a patient who hadn’t paid before decided to pay all in one go. I swallow and take a deep breath, knowing that that receipt I’ll issue could make or break my month. I still issue a receipt and pay my taxes. Because that’s what good citizens do.
So when I open the newspaper and I see that people have siphoned off billions of pesos of my hard earned money, it makes me angry. When their children use it for a million-dollar birthday party to be with Justin Bieber, it makes me furious. How many children in the hospital could that party have saved? How many people could that have housed and fed? How many vaccines could it have bought? How many farmers helped? It makes me sick to my stomach.
AND THEN, this ad comes along. I’ve known that BIR has issues with the medical community. I don’t know if it’s some unspoken angst you all have for the vaccinations we’ve given you as children or it’s because of your belief that you won’t ever get sick and have no need for physicians. But this was downright insulting. To portray physicians as a burden, to make a sweeping statement through this ad that physicians evade taxes and therefore are burdens, is not only irresponsible, but is reprehensible. Whilst I will not dispute that not all doctors can say this but I for one pay my taxes properly.
I still pay taxes but always with a heavy heart. And you sir, have not kept up your part of the deal. I’m not asking for protection, I can handle it. But because of the continued attacks on my profession, I am now seriously thinking of giving up the practice here in Manila and moving somewhere else (I think I hear London calling). Good luck with the doctors that are left behind. The numbers applying to medical school are getting smaller, and those that do graduate will not want to stay around if this is what they’re looking forward do.
Where are you now? Do you think of me once in a while? I am reminded of our tender conversations, reading your letter, although it is cold and indifferent. Here in your letter I have something which makes up for your absence. How pleased I would be to follow you, to travel with you who are always in my thoughts.
You wish me all kinds of luck, but forget that in the absence of a beloved one a tender heart cannot feel happy.
A thousand things serve to distract your mind, my freind; but in my case, I am sad, lonely, always alone with my thoughts — nothing, absolutely nothing relieves my sorrow. Are you coming back? That’s what I want and desire most ardently — you cannot refuse me.
I do not despir and I limit myself to murmuring against time which runs so fast when it carries us toward a separation, but goes so slowly when it’s bringing us together again.
I feel very unhappy thinking that perhaps I might never see you again.
Goodbye! You know with one word you can make me very happy. Aren’t you going to write to me?
-Suzanne Jacoby’s letter to Jose Rizal, July 1890
This letter broke my heart.
The long wait is over!
Everyone is invited to join Albay Tumblr Meet up on March 22, 2014, Saturday, 1pm onwards at Albay Park and Wildlife.If you failed to join us during Tumblr Karangahan Meet Up (TKMU), this is now your chance to be with us! Be an Albayano or not, you are very welcome! ♥
For more information, just ask the following organizers:
And for faster updates, please join our facebook group.
There will be an on-site registration of Php 50.00. The entrance fee of Php 20.00 is not yet included. Just approach the organizers for more information. See you! Please spread the exciting news!
I hope this time I can make it. I hope I can finish all my lab practicals so I can leave school and have fun the rest of the day.
See you! (sana)
Dream, but don’t sleep.
Avril Lavigne Live in Manila!
I came all the way from Legazpi City just to see Avril perform live on stage. I was so excited when my sister told me that we’ll watch her concert because it’ll be my first time watching an international artist and what the hell! it’s Avril Lavigne! :)
I left Legazpi City, Sunday (a day before the concert) at exactly 6:45PM. I had a Sunday class so I was kinda tired I think I slept the whole 10hr-trip. I arrived at Cubao Monday 6AM, my sister and her boyfreind waiting for me there. We had our breakfast at KFC. Blah. blah. blah. We went to SM North and had our lunch at Tokyo Tokyo.
We arrived at Araneta around 7PM but had our dinner first at Bon Chon. At around 8PM, we decided to go inside. Apparently, there weren’t so much people that time and I even thought there’d only be few.
The people went crazy when the lights went off. Everybody yelled, Avril Lavigne appeared on stage and the shouts went louder. She sang Hello Kitty which I didn’t know, eitherway, my sister and I kept on cheering while everybody else sang along. I really didn’t know that song, LOL.
Bonus appearance Chad Kroeger, Avril’s husband and the vocalist of Nickelback, they sang together Let Me Go. Kilig!
*Didn’t manage to get good pictures tho, we were at the farthest corner and I’m only using my 18-55mm kit.
But WORTH IT! Weee!
Shot taken at Embarcadero de Legazpi.
We were bored we went skateboarding.
Yay! It turned out to be fun and relaxing,
tho my muscles felt slight cramps when I went home. Hihi. The weather was really nice that day, the sunset was beautiful, there were birds chirping, kids running around-playing and having fun, there were couples conversing sweetly and silently, also, skaters doing i-am-so-cool tricks :)
At the tip of the iceberg. :)
So yesterday, we had our lunch at Pacific Mall Legazpi, we have nothing else to do the rest of the day so my friends and I decided to forget everything for a while and lose ourselves at the arcade. I didn’t really plan on spending all my coins and play, but the stuff toys inside the toy crane were very alluring it made me want to just break the glass and get one which of course I couldn’t, LOL. I decided to try my luck. I was so determined to get one I didn’t notice my coins were running out. With my last token, I managed to finally scoop up (idk, what’s the right term?) little pinkie giraffe, I was so happy I think I jumped up and down right there, I think people started staring, but I didn’t care. Hehe
Just to give you an idea of how much fun we’re having as medtech students. :)
1. Rubber suckers! So yeah basically, one of the hardest lab practicals (for me), took me lots of practice and I ain’t even confident to face the jury, glad I did fine during the practical exam. Hihi
2. Hemolysis.'Hemolysed sample is a big no! no!' Sir Nat would say. Unlucky CC day for us, we were divided into five groups composed of 7 members. During our lab activity on AST/ALT Determination, our group was the last to perform because our blood samples kept on hemolysing after rimming off the lipid clot and I felt very exhausted because it’s a tiring job starting with veni all over again, plus I’m also getting tired of experiencing pain from veni, last time we had our lab work, I was hit 3 times, left and right median cubital and one cephalic vein.
3. The Art of Blood Smear. Probably the most challenging, most tiring, and most frustrating. It took me lots of practice to achieve the 'not-too-thick-not-too-thin-blood-smear-with-feathery-edges.' I think it took me 2 boxes of glass slides before finally being happy with my blood smears.
4. Manual RBC Counting. The most hurting to the eyes, I guess. Using the hemocytometer, we have to count the number of RBCs present per field. The average counting ranges from 400-600 cells, using the formula, total RBC count ref range must fall between 4-6M cells.
I never knew that it could be this challenging and tiring, but eitherway, I am obviously having fun. :)
Random thoughts and just stuffs of the same kind.
I am very busy right now. I don’t have weekends anymore because I have classes Saturdays and Sundays. I’ve got loads of books to read every night, Hema, CC, AUB, blah blah blah..I also added Bacte and Immunology because I heard they were the hardest subjects during the Sept 2013 MedTech board exam.
I’m kinda sad because I don’t have so much time to update my page, especially that I don’t have a laptop right now - which is bad because I am doing my thesis and I find it exhausting borrowing someone else’s laptop. I am hoping that by the end of Feb or so, I already have bought a new one. Tho I still take countless photographs, I couldn’t upload it right away because I couldn’t find an internet shop that has lightroom or photoshop.
I still write random and senseless thoughts, but I keep it in my diary. I hope I can share some of it as soon as I get a chance to.
I have so many books on queue. Right now, I am in the last book of Percy Jackson. I’m glad that I was able to sneak Percy in my night list readings. I hope I can read all of Heroes of Olympus books before this school year ends because I really haven’t planned on reading the Heroes of Olympus if it weren’t for the very thrilling Battle of the Labyrinth. I originally listed the books I wanna read for summer last Jan 1, and it wasn’t included, so I think I’m gonna have to do some adjustments and insert all of Rick Riordan’s books. Hihi. :D I also have so many books to review, but I decided that I will write my thoughts about it when I get a new laptop.
Anyway, these are what I’ve been thinking these past few days. Blah. This is very random. I miss you guys. I miss reading your blogs. I miss looking at your photographs. I hope I can visit my friends’ pages soon. Huuuuu!
All things change. Some get better. Others get worse.
If I were living a different lifestyle, maybe I would’ve gotten myself a tattoo..
..something that will symbolize my dreams and beliefs, something that will tell stories, something that will tell you who I am…
I hate it because I don’t have so much time left for my self anymore. My super hectic and busy sched is eating up all my time and energy. I am probably not the busiest person on earth but the fact that I am starting to neglect my wants and needs make me not less of that busiest person. I wanna do a lot of things - visit more places, attend more parties, and read more fictional books, but here I am, stuck in school, preparing for a future I am not even sure of. Vacation is near, but I guess I wouldn’t spend my vacation on excursions, but instead, I need to start reviewing because I will be taking MT board next year. I have so many things to catch up, topics that were not discussed very thoroughly at school, and also, I wanna read ahead of time so I wouldn’t suffer the agony of cramming . Well anyway, I guess wanderlusting is out of the question right now. I do have plans for future travels, but I don’t know yet when and how. Maybe, after graduation from med school (which probably is like 232,238,000+++ years more from now). I wish I could have all the time on earth to enjoy myself.